Category Archives: Photography
Just as I was gonna say I don’t know what this is???
There you go. In plain English.
((Gas & Water))
Dunno. It called to me and said, “Take my picture!”
So I obliged…as always.
Too cute. Had to ask the owners for a picture.
THIS my dear friends, is what they refer to as the “Bentley” face.
At least, that’s what they called it when my mom was buying her teacup yorkie.
These people looked more “sane” though and most likely just happened to get one of the most
adorable doggies on the planet without paying the price of a kidney.
My soupie fav. Tom Kha Gai.
Restaurant: Khan Thoong.
Saw this off in the distance and had to walk up and snap it.
A little starter treat the restaurant serves once you’re seated.
I love it. Great touch…plus, gets you EATING ASAP!
Dessert. I wanted to try peanuts…
but, I think this was pieces of caramel instead.
COMPLIMENTARY glass of wine from Sue.
A waitress I started a convo with last time I was at the restaurant.
Awwwweeeee. I’m so SPWECIAL!
She came up to the table and was like, “This one me, and here’s your bottle.”
I thought homegirl was gonna DRINK with me.
((We got things clarified, and I thanked her accordingly.))
Escapes into solidarity, wine and self-reflection are a VERY GREAT “pairing”
even though it’s more than 2 elements.
((I was trying to stay within the “wine” theme))
I never have Benzir Bhutto far away when I’m on my solo wanderings.
This pic has elements of VERY special meanings.
I noticed this while I re-read something I underlined, which says:
“It is so much easier to blame others for our problems than to accept responsibility ourselves.”
I love this women. Too bad she was assassinated, making ever meeting her
quite HIGH on the difficult scale.
The pen has Frida Kahlo on it and was given to me by my VERY dear and
AMAZING friend Erika.
This year, DRAGONS have a very special meaning…so everything combined just had to be
People at restaurants must take me for crazy…OK, fine. Everyone who meets me.
FINE FINE FINE.
I love getting lost in things that capture my eye until I’ve snapped it JUST RIGHT.
(Even if it’s not right to you, it is to me. So, **STICKING OUT TONGUE** making a “HMMM” simultaneously.)
Looked down at the railing while walking over the canal and wanted to photograph it somehow.
And here you go.
Captured this, because it was the first signs of spring.
I looked and was like “AHA! LIFE!”
A lock on a railing a few minutes away from the hotel.
And there you go.
Catching up with my pics.
Still have a few more entries…
however, jumping over to the airport and then Amsterdam for the night.
Need to leave, like
Thanks for stopping by.
Oh yeah, I must admit. I’m slightly impressed at how the pics came out.
I’m my worst critic, but sometimes, I manage to actually pat myself on the back.
Transforming Transitions of Transient Travels Thru Solitary Sediments of Existence Eventually Emerging Blissfully Content, Free and Smiling. BE JEALOUS.
I think I just hit a record for title length!
I just closed my eyes, typed, and deleted…
which gave me two “déjà vu” moments.
I’m listening to Jewel’s “Foolish Games” right now.
I’ve included the video below. I forgot about her wonky tooth.
I love it. I hope she never decides to “fix” it to conform to the “norm’s” view
I find it perfectly, precious.
When I was younger, it was one of the songs I used to zone out to on the piano;
from early morning 4am-ish to sunrise.
The first set of notes slides me into the music and out of “existence.”
Melodically mind-numbing, but welcomingly so.
I stopped what I was doing just now so I could ride fully with the notes as the song began again.
Man. I can’t help but smile.
“Take me” my mind says and off I go.
I have a slight headache from a little too much wine and port last night
however, with this song piping through my earphones…
my braincells are doing a graceful dance number inside of my skull
with moments of opened-armed, running towards the front of the “stage” glee
releasing me of the punishing tension and agony from the
“offensive” and demonic reactions of evil grape distillates.
I think I’ve realized WHY I love plugging in (earphones).
It’s me, blocking out the world.
Blocking out the noise of influence.
Of outside voices which wish to seep into my head and take it over.
Blocking out the world, gives me my mind back.
Gives me my peace to settle my thoughts, monitor my movements and THINK.
THINK, for myself.
Not as the “world” wishes to program it.
The world most of us live in today, is too consumed.
Consumed by useless distractions, routines and “responsibilities.”
Fruitless desires to achieve!
To gain POWER
and to then, what?
What is it that you gain, when at the end of the day…
you’re always dreaming of your “vacations?”
What about, just being?
When did we go from necessity being life
to life’s obsession with luxury?
Throughout my 32 years on this planet, I’ve taken breaks from the world.
I used to think they were deep depressions…which in a way, they were…
because I was just not happy with the world around me so I left it
to be on my own.
To think, to create, to “protect” myself from what it’s become?
I have managed to position myself with a lifestyle that allows me to
escape the world, when I wish.
I mold my life into what I wish it to be.
And, if I can’t in that EXACT moment, I’ll find a way to get myself there.
I don’t follow “what should bes”
I follow, “what Cara bes.”
So many people think they’ve got the “Path to Success”
all mapped out.
(And aren’t SHY about SHOVING that JOYFUL “know it all” knowledge down your throat.)
I really don’t think there is such a path, well, not society’s definition of it.
(Which starts as a failure in itself just as is.)
Life’s too unpredictable for that…so I just do as I do, and embrace whatever comes of it.
A prime example. I had a friend who was JUST about to graduate from University as
a brain surgeon…however, before her big day, she discovered she had brain cancer
and died shortly after her diagnosis.
I’ve seen the way my aunt used to study and pin her nose into a book while I was growing up.
I’d hate to have put all that effort and sacrifice into something, just to get jipped at the end.
However, if it’s something you enjoy and are passionate about, that’s different.
STUDY, STUDY, STUDY…WORK, WORK, WORK.
Wow. How appealing???
For the most part, I’ve always done, anything I’ve wanted to
and am grateful I wasn’t born into a shackled life.
I’m not sure there’s much I’ve wanted to do and haven’t done.
There’s #1 place in a superbike race, but I’ve given myself until 35.
Need to get my ass back on the tracks soon. Time’s running out.
Stay tuned, it’ll happen.
I give myself between 1st-3rd place. Podium-level.
Ain’t about to make things TOO stressful for myself!
(Especially since I’m not “supporting” lost causes anymore)
THIS TIME, for real, I’m putting myself FIRST.
(Excluding my parents)
No more charity cases. Indy, you better help me stay strong on this one.
I’m counting on you baby!!!
My life’s filled with helping others get to where they want to be, while placing my dreams
on the back burner. I’m hoping I can finally put a stop to that silly little habit.
I won’t mind going back to it, but I’d finally like to make this one dream a reality as it’s
been one of the only unfulfilled constants in my life.
2012 baby. The Year of MY Dragon…as I like to say.
In closing, if yer stressing, if you feel my life an inspiration and don’t think
YOU can be where I am…
Sit down, without distractions and think about the things that control you…
that you are enslaved to
and start to break free from them.
In one, broken down, “do-you-speak-English” word: SIMMM…PLIIIII…FY!!!!!!!!
These past few weeks I’ve taken a step back, shook the glitter off my distractions
and have returned, refreshed, focused and lighter
and ready to create new footsteps into a revised unknown.
Spring cleaning baby!
(Apparently, a part of this new “transformation” and “awakening” of mine, I have now
begun to speak via pictures.)
Have a BEAUTIFUL humpday ALL!!!!!!!!
Afghan Parliament member and NOW declared Presidential candidate…Fawzia Koofi.
She was initially condemned to death by her own family for being born female
(She should’ve KNOWN BETTER! Pssssht!)
and she’s already had a few assassination attempts.
In 2014 she plans to run for President…the very same year
that all foreign troops are supposed to withdraw from the country.
I wish you well Fawzia.
Evil doesn’t take well to those wishing to change it.
RIP Benazir Bhutto
There are mugs and merchandise that read: “#1 Dad.”
I really don’t know why.
Cuz, everyone’s dad, isn’t mine? So, why would they have the need to buy a lie for a gift?
Me? Biased, no!
Actually though, not fluffin’ shit up or anything, my dad is amazing.
He is an upstanding person. His reputation speaks for itself.
You don’t even have to know him, to know, he’s one of the greatest.
When my friend Rick (before I knew him) visited the Bahamas on business, people bombarded him
with praise about “Louis Chan.” He was so curious as to WHO this man is…
WHO is this person, who so many from all different walks of life hold in such high regard?
I am almost everything my dad, mainly in heart and principles…his deep devotion to the Catholic Church?
Not so much.
I fight to hold back tears as I write this entry.
(Major fail, by the way)
As I worked on the pics, even worse.
Where does the time go?
How’d it go from this…?
To the present?
32 years is a long fucking time, but where is it?
Within the recent years, I’ve been trying to make up for lost time, but it’s not the same.
I really wish I could get some time back, somehow, but I know I can’t and that kinda sucks.
I don’t feel like we’ve had enough TRUE time.
I don’t know how to explain that description…but, our “youths” were lost, apart. I guess you can say.
My parents were too occupied with their businesses and social obligations when I was younger…
then, I went off to boarding school and afterwards got lost in the world.
I have only recently come back and to the realization of, “FUCK. My dad’s in his 60s!”
Both him and my mom still look so young, so that’s the deception in it all.
Being asian, on TOP of hair dye.
(Shhhhhhh. Don’t tell ’em I told you.)
Seriously though…I always tell them, if they’d allow their hair to grey, I’d be
“gentler” on them.
Meaning, I would be able to see their age and most likely appreciate our time MORE.
Strange how appearances can effect our approach. No?
If my parents had grey hair, OMG. I’d freak because “reality” would reveal itself
and I’d be reminded of their fragility and depleting time.
This is one of my favorite pictures of my parents.
It makes me smile.
When I look at younger pics of me, I feel a sadness.
Sadness because I look at a picture of a girl, who grew up too fast?
Who’s childhood I can hardly remember.
A picture of someone who’s missing GAPS in her life.
It’s like I went from 13 to 32. Where’d I go?
(I wish I wrote this LAST year, then it’d be 13 to 31. Symmetrical and following my
“13” theme this year)
I also see the sadness in what my parents must see/feel.
I know I’m not what they saw in me…
or thought me to become
and I feel bad for them.
It’s like I killed their hopes and dreams of whatever they wanted me to be
by being me.
I am such an accomplishment in so many eyes, but in my parents’…especially my mother’s
I feel like a disastrous mistake and disappointment.
Maybe that’s why I don’t take praise well, or accept it at all
because there are only 2 people in existence who’s opinions I care about.
I gotta be ME though, ya know?
And I know “ME” ain’t so bad, so I’m not changing just because they were “programmed” in their
own views of what’s “GOOD” and worthy of praise.
Acceptance doesn’t take away the sadness/emptiness though.
Our humor’s pretty much spot on too.
I got lost in the world, then absorbed in the fast life, afterwards I got sucked into “love”
other times arrested by drugs, then there’s my “save the world” obsessions…
when the world I should be concentrating on, has a population of 3.
My parents and I.
It’s weird though, life. It’s like a race against time to fit everything in, yet
have the time to treasure the most important in it.
And sometimes we get so focused, or lost, that we don’t see the gifts
we are presented…that were always there to reach for.
The Chan’s, including extended family, have always been about “hard work”
and “education.” I’ve always been about happiness, smiles, love and play.
Nothing much has changed today. I feel, life’s too depressing as is, might as well
sprinkle as many sparkly moments as possible.
I make “fun” money, not “slave” money. For the most part, I always look for fun ways or
enrichingly challenging ways to make money.
With the projects I get into…
CASH is usually ALWAYS the smallest reward I get out of it.
I’m not motivated by cash, I’m motivated by experiences and results.
Yesterday, I was planning on heading down to Kenya and then South Africa for June/July
after I finish up with Europe…however, I think it’s time to go home again.
If the world vanished and all I was left with, was my mom and dad, I’d be fine.
If my parents vanished and I was left with the world…
I’d be destroyed.
So home I go. All my tickets and hotels have already been booked from Estonia down to Turkey
and back here to Amsterdam…
if it wasn’t for that, I’d already be home, celebrating with my dad.
Travel has been both a blessing and curse.
It’s shown me “reality” instead of fabrications and has kept my mind and heart
open to all.
But, has taken away a lot of time from those I love the most.
I have so many around the world in my heart but in the end, my parents are my top…
and I need to keep reminding myself of it, as I get sidetracked into “the rest.”
I LOVE YOU DAD!!!!!
See you SOON!
Pics below, thanks to David Mackey.
Facebook has been awesome in that it helps me keep tabs and see what my parents are up to.
I love seeing pics of them both. MOST are just of my mom out partying…
But, the ones where my parents are together and enjoying life…
I love the most.
(Just FYI friends, snap away for me please!!!)
When I look at this picture, all I want to do is JUMP in it and give my daddy a great big, strong hug.
This pic, also David Mackey’s caught my attention.
Look how the guy’s stare just beelines the crotch.
Right, ta ta for now.
Enjoy your Tuesday…………
David Mackey’s website: