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Category Archives: Paris

Alright folks…LONG awaited June 2011 – Feb 2012 Worldwide Travel Vid UP!!!!!!

A friend once suggested that a permanent GoPro should be mounted on my head…
well, this is the next best thing.
Enjoy!!!

Bahamas, Holland, Copenhagen, Sweden, Thailand, Belgium, Las Vegas, Florida, Boston, Dubai…I think that’s it? Shit. I did a lot and it continues!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Best vid to date!!!
Love, love, love it…and LOVE ALL OF YOU!!!!!!!

A few friends told me this song reminds them of me…
so, guess it’s my theme song for the moment!

((Apparently I need to clarify the “weird” gentlemen in 3:04mins in.
The were homeless BUMS! Not my friends! ha ha ha
But they were nice and well-spirited…so, gave them some vodka.))

Remember…CARING means SHARING!

 

Squashing Anticipation

I never really expect much, from my life.
I just live it.
A lot of times when I go on group trips
I get nervous and start stressing about what’s going to happen
what clothes do I need
etc

Then, I come to my senses and just GO.
Squash the obsessive “thinking.”

Life is a mind game.
You gotta know how to battle it.
Which battles to fight, which ones to just let go of and where to compromise.

I don’t remember getting excited over trips.
Maybe when I was younger…
but for me, I take trips like people go out for a nice dinner.

If you keep going and if it becomes routine
it loses its luster.
To me, traveling is almost like a job.
A must.

I love my friends and try to spend the most time possible with each and every one of them. As I continue to travel and add more to the herd…
my life becomes more and more hectic.

365 days in a year.
(Well, I get an extra day this year!! Woohooo!!!)
The earth is almost 8,000 miles from point to point around the equator
and there are about 2469501 cities in the world.

OK, maybe I don’t have friends in ALL those cities…
but shit.
10% of the world’s cities takes you to 25,000.

I’ve got ONE me.

When I say my friends are my everything…
they are.

My parents and my friends.
And now, since I’ve gotten a strong pull to spend more time with my parents
I have less time in the year.

In my mind already…
here is where I “need” to try and be (at the least) this year:

Sweden
Mexico
England
Switzerland
I was trying to fit Germany in, but the friend I was going to see…
will be moving to NYC in the next few months…so, I can just meet up with her there.
(Ahhhh…but I forgot about my friend Sasha, also in Germany…but, I think she’ll be in Cali later on this year.)
Colorado
New York/New Jersey
California
Florida
Texas
Bahamas (as always)
Trinidad
(Thinking about the Dominican Republic, but it’s not as pressing)
I’ve been trying to fit Argentina in but it’s not on the hot list.
Australia (Phillip Island – track time)
My Canadian friends have been bitching about me neglecting them.
(Vancouver, Toronto and Montreal)
I want to take my parents on a trip to China…
as I don’t want to lose any of them without stepping foot on the “mainland”
together.
I’ve been meaning to go to Kenya since last year to visit my pal Elaine from boarding school.
I see another Thailand trip in the works…the reason will reveal itself in time.

This is what I have so far.
Without thinking too much into it.
Welcome to my life.

And on top of that, I’ve added more “dependents”

My friend Indy told me last night that I can’t save ’em all.
I hate suffering.
I hate sadness.
I go above and beyond to help strangers.
Imagine the people I love?
If someone’s not happy…
I wanna know why
and I wanna fix it.

Especially if it’s someone I think deserves the world and is only getting a fraction of it.

The libra in me. Scales of justice.
Balance.

🙂

I was a little off last night.
Got a 2 hour nap in and back up again.
I’ve had a rather bumpy few days.
FUN, but bumpy as well, emotionally.

It seems in life, when I’m the happiest and filled with the most
joyous moments of anticipation…

I get the hardest let down.
Like, harsh to where my heart hurts.
Crazy huh?
How something that enters the mind can cause a physical
reaction.

Goes to show how stress and other negative occurrences make us sick.

2012 has turned out to be the most challenging year to date
in terms of WEIGHT on my shoulders.
But, surprisingly, I don’t feel a thing.
🙂

In actuality, I feel lighter than EVER!
I’d even go as far to say, CAREFREE!
AM I finally tippy toeing on the edges of dementia?
HA HA HA

Cuz, with all life has thrown at me this year, I feel I should be going through a
major meltdown!

((All in the mind, is all I can think of))

I don’t see defeat. In my mind, it’s like…
“Here’s the problem.”

(to where my heart begins to race and I have a mini panic attack)

then, after it’s all absorbed
I close my eyes, take a deep breath and

work at finding a solution.

No one has ever gotten anywhere just freakin’ out over shit.
You are allowed the 5 minute “OH FUCK”
after that, shake it off and climb.
One step at a time.

And, whatever happens in the end. Happens.
All you can do, is your best.

Stressing over things beyond your control is just silly.
But we do it.
The immediate world around me, I’ve got a handle on.
It’s the BIGGER picture surrounding all of us.
The bigger picture and how FUCKED up
the world is and HOW far we are to ever coming out on the positive side of the coin.

If I were to place this as my focal point, every moment of my day
I’d shrivel into a ball and implode from the pressure I’d put on myself
cuz I’d want to find a solution.
A solution, to save the world.

I know, cuz I was almost there.

My friend/”brother” Anthony tells me I need to pick ONE cause.
The Eradication of Human Suffering.
How’s that one Ant?

ha ha ha

I have been “free” for most of my life.
Any kinda of “suffering” I’ve had, I most likely put on myself.

Freedom.

TO not be free.
To basically NOT be able to do anything you want at any given time.
To be under the control of someone.
To be forced into something, not only you DON’T want to do
but that brings you discomfort.
That causes you pain.
That rips to shreds the beauty of being a precious living organism…

to me, is unfathomable.

I’ve always been strong willed.
I don’t put up with shit and don’t do things that I don’t want to do.
Even when I was younger…
if I couldn’t find reason behind the rules my mother would set for me
I wouldn’t follow ’em.

I was not a bad child.
In opposition, I was actually quite the angel.
😛

No, seriously.

HA HA

It wasn’t until I was 17 where I went a bit “off.”
Which really wasn’t bad. I was just experiencing life.
I’d get into anything that struck my curiousity
and by that time, I was out on my own supporting myself…

so, my money, my rules.

Simple.

I told my mom, you can’t have it both ways.
Angel young, or angel when older.
The young only last a while…the older lasts until the greys set in and beyond!
So, I feel she’s gotten the better side of the coin.
HA HA

 I’ve worked and made money since I was very young.
I used to save my lunch money ($5) cuz I’d rather have the cash than lunch.

I had my own little business before I reached my teens
and my parents used to make me work during the summers and sometimes
help them out after school.

(I never got paid working for them…as it’s “family” but I had jobs outside of their companies since 11)

I did enough work before I was in my 20s…
so I guess, that’s why I’ve “retired” so young.
HA HA HA

I probably work like people take vacations in the year.
How do I do, what I do. Beats me.
Luck?

Karma?

Destiny?

All I know, is I’d NEVER be where I am at today, without GREAT friends.
My emotional support system.
I can count at least 5 times I was supposed to be dead.

And yet, here I am.
So, the final time…when it was basically “a miracle” that I survived…

I accepted the fact, that maybe I’m here for a reason.
Someone doesn’t want me to go cuz I’ve yet to complete my “purpose” in life.

Could be hooplah.
But, could be true as well.

Who knows?

Friends always approach me to plan trips with them.
I can’t really plan shit.
I flow with it.
It’s a feeling I get.
That screams, “YES. You must do that.”

Every time I’ve followed those pulls…
something beyond amazing happens.
Seriously.
I can’t begin to tell you how my life keeps surprising me
and getting better and better every year when I don’t even think there’s room for improvement.

How long will this last?
I don’t know.

But I ain’t about to jump off the ride while it lasts.
🙂

When I wanna do something, NOW’s the preferable time frame…
not later.
Later’s for shit, I don’t wanna do.
HA HA

Hence the selective procrastinator of boring and monotonous I am.
Anything that isn’t fun, exciting, etc…
piles up on the “to do” list.
I’ve got boxes and boxes of shit at the house I’ve been meaning to sort through

for YEARS!

Indy keeps on getting on me for it
she’s even volunteered to come and help me.
Maybe next trip back home.

🙂

I started this entry last night.
It has taken on a life of its own.
I kinda veered off the path of my initial direction.

Can’t separate my writing from my life.
We are one in the same…so I guess it’ll have the same erratic patterns!

Makes sense no?

My friend Rick’s gonna love this entry.
He likes my “deeper/thinking” side better than my jokey
bunny humping, “5th grader” jokey side.

**meh**

Balance.

🙂

Bringing back some pics from last year.
What amused me on the Euromast in Rotterdam.

Love locks in Paris on the Pont des Arts bridge.
I am the MASTER of my OWN DESTINY!
😛

a pic I took for my sweetie Nykya. I wanted to take her to Paris with me…
but she’s slackin’ on getting her passport.

 

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Sleep…as in deprivation!

It’s 4:10am.

I’m finishing off the last of Midnight in Paris. Went to bed a little before 12am, (Midnight!! He he however, not so enchanting in Schiedam, Holland) ha ha and kept waking up…like UP, on and off since 1:45am.

How is that?

One day, I manage, not a straight-through, but at least a 12 hour sleep, waking up TIRED…and some nights I get less than 3 and I’m good?!?

I gotta find the pic for you. There was one time I was up for 36 hours straight. No! No drugs! Pssht. THAT wouldn’t be anything to report, now would it?!!?

Sit tight. I’ll brb.

 

Got it!
Below is what happens, after 36 hours of NO sleep, like really, NO sleep
then
hopping in the shower
high as a kite, on OXYGEN, meaning nothing out of the ordinary…
then

picking up the blade (head) part of one of those Gillette Fusion Vibrating Razors
(cuz the handle attachment broke)
and shaving ones legs, because…**meh** why not?

Yeah, BAD idea.
BAAAAAAAAAD!!!!!

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And the WORST part?
DO YOU SEE ANY HAIR ON MY LEGS!?!?!?
Sleep deprivation had me forgetting I was asian.
We HAVE no hair on our legs!

As for the wrappings, my daddy patched me up.

🙂

I was visiting them at the time.
When I ran out my room to discuss with my father I haven’t sleep in 36 hours…
He looked at me with a disapproving stare
and asked: Are you on drugs?

I was like: OMG! If I was on DRUGS, do you THINK I’d come out and TELL you
I couldn’t sleep?!!??!!?

Anyways.
Let’s see what the day brings.

🙂

 

6mins to 5am.
Over and out…for now.

 

xoxoxo

 
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Posted by on October 26, 2011 in Alcohol & Drugs, Holland, Movies, Paris

 

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Responsibility. Fleeting, yet existent!

Soooooo…

I was responsible for, errrrrrrrr…say 2 hours? Meaning: I dismantled my Roland drumset and boxed up a few things I’m going to keep in Holland – in preparation for my departure on Thursday. (Instead of just leaving shit for the last minute, as always)

Proud of me?

Then, though, my food delivery came. I found a movie to watch online (Cocaine Angel) and there ended my adventures in responsibility. Hey, I still have another 30 something hours! And…I’ve always been known to perform my best under pressure. (Did I mention the beers? EXTREME productivity kill!)

**Stop rolling your eyes**

Searched for another movie to watch and came across Midnight in Paris. I wanted to see how they captured the city I feel so at peace in. Speaking of “The Notebook” (above title of blog) guess who stars in it? The chick from the Notebook. This unexpected appearance made me smile.
🙂

Until…

Honey, if you EVER turned out as pretentiously spoiled, insensitive and self-involved as this chick, I’d drop you cold. Seriously. OMG. Neither feeling nor residual attachments lingering from the past could save you from this monster of a character.

OK, the movie’s just taken a twist. Ha. Interesting. The main character’s played by, errrrr…what’s his name? Hold on, google time. OWEN WILSON! Not one of my favs, I always kinda question why he gets casted for things, but whatever. Double standards of Hollywood. Main actresses mostly MUST be PERFECTION. Men?
Blah. Leaving that subject behind. Not gonna even waste our time getting in to THAT!

Alright, my eyes are stinging. Time to give them the peace they so desire. Shit’s kinda hectic, preparing to leave and all, so…will prepare pics and maybe even VIDEO once I arrive in Dubai. (I need you here to ORGANIZE ME! Yes, nothing’s changed. Both, in that I “need” you and being HIGHLY chaotically DISORGANIZED, yet…in an organized fashion.)

🙂

Kisses to you my love.
Goodnight.

A pic of me one night, in a NYC hotel room…appreciating a GOOD hair day
with a NOT so flattering facial expression.
Yeah, no. I haven’t changed.
And I know, you love it all.
Now, smile.

🙂

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1 Comment

Posted by on October 25, 2011 in Dubai, Movies, Paris, Travel

 

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Fuck if I Know!

Why the fuck am I doing this? I don’t friggin’ know. I do it, because it came to me, to do so. I see it as a way to grow, learn, understand, and collect and organize my thoughts, and then, hopefully come out saying, “Aha.” Some days, I cringe at the fact of leaving myself so open and vulnerable to all that reads, but I quickly get over it, cuz whatever. I’m human, not Superwoman; although, on my maniac days, I do feel as if I’m flying.

After making it a point of NOT drinking yesterday, I ended up having 6 medium sized EXTRA cold Heinekens. (I’m doing a pretty damn good job at drinking beer, for a person, who doesn’t drink beer.)

I should actually start buying stock in the shit, as since my 2nd week here in Holland, I don’t think I’ve gone a day without one. (I’ve been here over 3 months, FYI) I’m gonna go back to the Bahamas for a bit cuz this routine is getting a bit old, and HOLLAND, is getting a bit old AND COLD! I miss not having a car. I miss NOT having anywhere to damn go that doesn’t have a nice, big, spacious, headache free, parking lot. I usually don’t mind the hotel living life, but I miss a stove. I miss being able to cook and have something that comes to mind ESPECIALLY after being in a country where FOOD doesn’t necessarily seem to HAVE a requisite of being TASTY! I’ve been spoiled by 24 hour access and feel imprisoned by 6pm shutdowns!

I want to be able to walk around, WITHOUT someone to say “hello” to. I need my space. I need my anonymity. I want to be able to walk around, unrecognized, so I can stay within myself so I don’t feel the need to smile, to laugh, to be somebody’s sunshine and to be anywhere beyond the escape I seek as I run around inside myself figuring out the whys and whats.

So…BEFORE I go there (Bahamas), as it’s not gonna be any BETTER – anonymity-wise – than here in Holland…

I’m looking at going to Dubai. Just like Paris, I feel it’s a place I can run to and lose myself. A place that has enough visual distractions to accompany me throughout my days so I can be alone but NOT feel alone.

My cousin’s just outside of Dubai, so as I’m losing myself, I’ll pull myself away to see her. We haven’t solidified plans of meeting up yet, but she’s a part of my heart. We were really close when I was younger, during some of the happiest times of my life, and then our lives were pulled in different directions. (Yes story of my life, “Loved Ones Ripped Away.” Fun times!) She’s one of the closest things, I’d say, that’d almost equal me seeing you. (But I don’t think I’d be kissing HER, the way I’d be kissing YOU!) ha ha ha

It’d be nice to finally fill up the space that’s been left empty by HER absence. Maybe it’ll help me become whole again, like piecing together a crumbled heart in order for it to maintain the body efficiently and fully.

Worth a shot, right?

OK, on to my day. I hope you are having a beautiful one.
xoxoxoxox

My GOD I was adorable eh? ha ha ha
Andrew in the middle throwing up gang signs.
(As for Audrey’s haircut…I’m glad we had different stylists!)
I feel for you Audrey. I feel for you. ha ha

Me and my teenage plumpy face! Ewwww.

I can’t wait to post an UPDATED pic!!!
Stay tuned!

🙂

 

 
2 Comments

Posted by on October 13, 2011 in Alcohol & Drugs, Bahamas, Dubai, Family, Food, Holland, Life, Paris, Travel

 

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Baby, guess what?

It’s 2:30am. Yeah, got outta bed, showered up and went downstairs to the hotel bar – I promised I’d buy an employee of the hotel a mimosa a few days ago – after a half an hour of tossing and turning, I fell prey to my promise and here I am.

Watched a movie just now. It’s a Lifetime flick (Marry Me) with Lucy Lui. I wanted to watch it since I saw it advertised, however, tv and I never seem to coordinate well. What made me write this entry, is I JUST read “364 days later” on the screen.

Do you see where I’m going with this? If I watched it when I wanted to, it wouldn’t have had the same impact. “364 days” would have read, just as it is. 364 days. Get it?

Timing.

Timing is everything. Don’t you agree?
That’s why, after us, I’ve let go of fighting and demanding that life give me what I want exactly when I want it. I’m sure it knows, better than me, what it is I need. I float through life, not because I’m not driven, it’s because I’ve learnt even if you place ALL your blood, sweat, tears, love, life and energy into something it doesn’t guarantee you’ll get the end result you strive for. I’ve learnt to give my all in everything that I do, yet…not kill myself over it. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t, why bother stressing? You’ve done, your best.

I’m sure life is taking me in a good direction. Things only seem to get better as I float along with it. Better, meaning, I’m rising…not falling. Stepping UP, not down. Mentally, is a another story! I can usually tell because I see the signs. The cues that I’m on the right track. Let’s take this blog for instance, I randomly ran off to Paris, alone, for my birthday. On my birthday, I thought up the idea for this 365 dedication to you and the VERY next day…my old site went “offline.” I couldn’t access it, nor could anyone else. It’s like life telling me:

“Go my child! You’ve chosen well.”

Just the other day, on one of my morning walks, a feather floated down to me. Right before me, almost as if it were levitating saying “Grab me.” So, I did.

20111009-033919.jpg
Timing.

That morning was different as well. I started later than usual, even threw a mini jog into it as I was pumped. (Don’t remember WHY, but it was one of those moments where you’re bursting with happiness and a simple walk won’t suffice) and I also stopped to video a swan who was busy ruffling about in his/her feathers. Tried to get a REALLY close up shot for you baby, but by the time I slapped the video mode on, on my iPod…he/she noticed me.

If I did one second’s worth of something different, I’d never be there in time for the feather. I don’t know. That’s me and all the time I find to just lose myself in thoughts like these. Everything is connected and all results come from the sum of everything we do. Minute to minute, down to the very second. I dunno. Shit like that fascinates me. Just imagine what a difference 30 secs makes. So many reactions can happen OR not, just by changing something that doesn’t even last a minute. Crazy shit baby. Crazy shit.

I’ve even revisited US, over and over. Maybe we both needed this time apart. Life tried to be gentle with us but we didn’t see the clues and so, it placed the harshest obstacles possible in our way, each time we came together, because we wouldn’t divide on our own. It did it, so we’d grow; so you could find yourself and get your shit together without me there always being your support, your crutch so to speak. As for me? After years of getting into everything, ANYONE and anything, from one side of the globe to the next, I’ve only come around to the same thing…you. However, I’d never have so much of the world in my heart if “we” were allowed to continue from the very beginning and I believe it’s all a part of the big picture of what I’m here to do. Am I starting to sound a bit wacky to you? Ha ha In time, it’ll all come around and make sense. (I think!)

It’s time that showed me, that you’re a survivor. (ha ha Beyonce just came on, Beautiful Nightmare. Funny. Even my iPod “Gods” are in tuned to me.)

I was removed, and you still stand.

I’m proud of you.

I miss US. I miss you. I miss what we all used to be, the three of us. We can never recreate those moments, those feelings, that magic and it has me letting go of a lot of things. My dream is gone, only to be revisited through memory. I’m not exactly sure what this all means. I guess, in time, we’ll all get that answer. Que sera sera baby! (what will be, will be)

Right…it’s 3:42am. Time to pass out!

Love you baby.
Goodnight…or morning. Ahhh…whatever.

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Posted by on October 9, 2011 in Holland, Life, Movies, Paris

 

Love-Locked…in Paris

Hey baby. How are you today? It’s almost 6pm. I was in the mood to sleep my day away. Had a rough one. Just a little off. The spazzy heartbeats are continuing and my breathing problems seem to be increasing in frequency. Not being able to pull a full, satisfying breath is not only annoying, but it’s making me weak and nauseous. It gets to the point where, I’d just rather NOT breathe!

My friend Paul and I planned a lunch together today, but it got fudged. Was really looking forward to it too, but hey…that’s life. He’s a real sweetie. Another one I’d love you to meet one day.

I want to share my morning walk with you, but I’m not in the mood to write about it. Maybe tomorrow. Still though, I’ve got something sappy that’ll make you smile.

🙂

I stumbled upon this on my birth day stroll. “Love-Locks” they call them. Location: Pont de l’Archevêché. (a bridge that crosses the Seine river)

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I took this for my girl Nykya. It was before I came up with the idea of this blog. I told her I’d bring her to Paris, but she’s slagging on the passport situation. Yours was the last passport I’ve decided to get for anyone. What’d that cost honey? $400?? And you’ve used it, once? **sigh** We better get more use outta that before it EXPIRES!

Yeah, nope, wasn’t going to just take a “normal” touristy pic…

20111004-181415.jpg
As we are on the subject of LOCKS. Can you read this sign? Cuz apparently the maids at my hotel are having a REAL rough time with it. SOOOO many times I’ve put this up, and yet they still come in. Like, WTF honey??? The other day, I put TWO! TWO to get my point across. One on the OUTSIDE door and one on the door leading in to my room. You’d THINK they’d “get it” right? I already had a maid snatch my shit in Thailand…
and have had things taken out of my room at THIS hotel…so it’s like, “HELLO???” (I’m seriously debating BUYING a fucking latch system so I can PAD-LOCK my door. Seriously. It’s either that, or shoot somebody.)

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Baby, I LOVE this person. ha ha Saw it on the handrail while up on the Euromast yesterday. More of those pictures to come…just NOT today ESPECIALLY since my laptop’s spazzing out on me. UGH. I have to upload pics via iPod then sort them out on the computer. Today’s, just not my day. Stay tuned, I MAY just head back up the Euromast to TOSS the useless fuck OFF IT.

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I hope you enjoyed my love. Forcing myself out of the desire to just sleep away my existence in order to deliver the goods to you, as promised…daily, has actually helped lift my spirits a bit. See? You’ve always been the cause behind my greatest smiles, even in the moments when they’re so hard to find.

Kisses to you my love
xoxoxo

 
 

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