Category Archives: Music
Transforming Transitions of Transient Travels Thru Solitary Sediments of Existence Eventually Emerging Blissfully Content, Free and Smiling. BE JEALOUS.
I think I just hit a record for title length!
I just closed my eyes, typed, and deleted…
which gave me two “déjà vu” moments.
I’m listening to Jewel’s “Foolish Games” right now.
I’ve included the video below. I forgot about her wonky tooth.
I love it. I hope she never decides to “fix” it to conform to the “norm’s” view
I find it perfectly, precious.
When I was younger, it was one of the songs I used to zone out to on the piano;
from early morning 4am-ish to sunrise.
The first set of notes slides me into the music and out of “existence.”
Melodically mind-numbing, but welcomingly so.
I stopped what I was doing just now so I could ride fully with the notes as the song began again.
Man. I can’t help but smile.
“Take me” my mind says and off I go.
I have a slight headache from a little too much wine and port last night
however, with this song piping through my earphones…
my braincells are doing a graceful dance number inside of my skull
with moments of opened-armed, running towards the front of the “stage” glee
releasing me of the punishing tension and agony from the
“offensive” and demonic reactions of evil grape distillates.
I think I’ve realized WHY I love plugging in (earphones).
It’s me, blocking out the world.
Blocking out the noise of influence.
Of outside voices which wish to seep into my head and take it over.
Blocking out the world, gives me my mind back.
Gives me my peace to settle my thoughts, monitor my movements and THINK.
THINK, for myself.
Not as the “world” wishes to program it.
The world most of us live in today, is too consumed.
Consumed by useless distractions, routines and “responsibilities.”
Fruitless desires to achieve!
To gain POWER
and to then, what?
What is it that you gain, when at the end of the day…
you’re always dreaming of your “vacations?”
What about, just being?
When did we go from necessity being life
to life’s obsession with luxury?
Throughout my 32 years on this planet, I’ve taken breaks from the world.
I used to think they were deep depressions…which in a way, they were…
because I was just not happy with the world around me so I left it
to be on my own.
To think, to create, to “protect” myself from what it’s become?
I have managed to position myself with a lifestyle that allows me to
escape the world, when I wish.
I mold my life into what I wish it to be.
And, if I can’t in that EXACT moment, I’ll find a way to get myself there.
I don’t follow “what should bes”
I follow, “what Cara bes.”
So many people think they’ve got the “Path to Success”
all mapped out.
(And aren’t SHY about SHOVING that JOYFUL “know it all” knowledge down your throat.)
I really don’t think there is such a path, well, not society’s definition of it.
(Which starts as a failure in itself just as is.)
Life’s too unpredictable for that…so I just do as I do, and embrace whatever comes of it.
A prime example. I had a friend who was JUST about to graduate from University as
a brain surgeon…however, before her big day, she discovered she had brain cancer
and died shortly after her diagnosis.
I’ve seen the way my aunt used to study and pin her nose into a book while I was growing up.
I’d hate to have put all that effort and sacrifice into something, just to get jipped at the end.
However, if it’s something you enjoy and are passionate about, that’s different.
STUDY, STUDY, STUDY…WORK, WORK, WORK.
Wow. How appealing???
For the most part, I’ve always done, anything I’ve wanted to
and am grateful I wasn’t born into a shackled life.
I’m not sure there’s much I’ve wanted to do and haven’t done.
There’s #1 place in a superbike race, but I’ve given myself until 35.
Need to get my ass back on the tracks soon. Time’s running out.
Stay tuned, it’ll happen.
I give myself between 1st-3rd place. Podium-level.
Ain’t about to make things TOO stressful for myself!
(Especially since I’m not “supporting” lost causes anymore)
THIS TIME, for real, I’m putting myself FIRST.
(Excluding my parents)
No more charity cases. Indy, you better help me stay strong on this one.
I’m counting on you baby!!!
My life’s filled with helping others get to where they want to be, while placing my dreams
on the back burner. I’m hoping I can finally put a stop to that silly little habit.
I won’t mind going back to it, but I’d finally like to make this one dream a reality as it’s
been one of the only unfulfilled constants in my life.
2012 baby. The Year of MY Dragon…as I like to say.
In closing, if yer stressing, if you feel my life an inspiration and don’t think
YOU can be where I am…
Sit down, without distractions and think about the things that control you…
that you are enslaved to
and start to break free from them.
In one, broken down, “do-you-speak-English” word: SIMMM…PLIIIII…FY!!!!!!!!
These past few weeks I’ve taken a step back, shook the glitter off my distractions
and have returned, refreshed, focused and lighter
and ready to create new footsteps into a revised unknown.
Spring cleaning baby!
(Apparently, a part of this new “transformation” and “awakening” of mine, I have now
begun to speak via pictures.)
Have a BEAUTIFUL humpday ALL!!!!!!!!
I ♥ this woman! (Sucky screenshot, BTW)
Talent, sweetness, grace, CUTE AS HELL, with a strong personality without a hint of annoying cockiness.
GOT to love it. Back off, she’s MINE!
Go to minute 6:21 if you don’t speak French. (STILL WORTH IT THOUGH)
She’s a KICKASS dancer. CHECK CHECK!
I LOVE the Mad…MOI…Zelle too. Kewl name.
He didn’t look like this…however, (funny) if you take it all off…almost could be him.
Same body and face shape.
You’d think that’d be something no one forgets. Huh?
(I told you I have a BAD f-in memory!! However, I’m starting to think it’s because I have too many experiences?
And shit IN there!!!!)
Funny that pimp came up cuz I was looking up pimples earlier this morning, before my nap, for an idea I have.
I was on this mission to OBTAIN THIS BLOODY ALBUM/SONG.
I’ve been trying to get Solage Ke Mwen by T-Vice.
I wanted to post it for the Haitian friend I met a few years ago in the Dominican Republic who
always says I forget about her.
Well, if she didn’t friggin’ CHANGE HER DAMN FACEBOOK name…
I could FIND HER ASS!
T-Vice is a Hatian band.
I was introduced to it when I was in Haiti for a summer visiting one of my best friends from boarding school.
I was, errrrrrrrr…14?
Slightly dangerous, but I wasn’t supposed to tell my mom.
Nothing major, just machine guns.
I was on this site…
THIS is the actual CD cover.
JUST as I got a 45 sec tease and EXCITED over HIGH-HEAVEN that
I’d finally get to purchase it…
and AFTER I signed up, etc
I get THIS:
Yeah, DUH, by ME!
But when I click on BUY NOW…this is what I’m repeatedly getting.
I’m on this site now, giving it a shot.
Wish me luck!
If I get it downloaded, I’ll upload it so you guys can give it a listen.
JUST as I was getting all excited…
checking out and the such
You mean, as in receiving an actual CD?!!?!?
**Crying on the inside**
I swear to God, ever since that time in Tampa where I ran away and left all my shit:
2 huge suitcases of clothes
(ALL designer back in the day. Polos were by far the cheapest at $50 or so a pop.)
ALL my CDs (Remember those case holders…yeah, about 5 of those big ones)
one of those big ass 100 + 1 CD changer, dual tape player entertainment consoles
and whatever else to run away…
(as I heard that my “friend” Bear and his girlfriend were going to try pimp me out.
My poor one guy shy of a virgin privates! OMG! HELL NO!)
I’ve been yearning for this CD.
The only thing out of everything I lost.
It’s the only thing that I want to replace but haven’t been able to.
When I know one of my Haitian friends are going to Haiti
I ask them to try and find it for me.
Well, guess I can just order it and have it sent to the US where my camera and shoes
are waiting for me.
I’m going to have the camera picked up and sent to the Bahamas
cuz my brother Anthony will be there and can bring it back to me, here in Holland.
Bear’s uncle was a BIG TIME famous pimp who used to roll with a BIG NAME rapper
back in the late 1990s. God. I wish my memory were better.
YOU’D KNOW HIM.
Even if you don’t listen to rap.
It may come to me and I’ll let you know, once I know.
(I’mma go google rappers of the 90s after I finish this)
I guess Bear and his sissy-ass was trying to follow in his uncle’s footsteps.
You think my life is colorful NOW!?!?!?
You shoulda had a GoPro on my head back in my Tampa days.
How I made it out alive during THOSE years…is the true mystery of my life.
I really wish I could listen to this song.
It brings back so many great feelings and memories just by thinking about
how much I loved it.
I’m not one to ask for much…**WAAAAAAAAA**
I think that’s why I can live without feining for material possessions
because between motorcycles, cars, jewelry, designer clothes, CDs, you name it
I don’t have them.
Crashed (not by me – I find it hard to say “NO” when I know, if it were me, I’d like the answer to be “YES”
However, I’d be more RESPONSIBLE with other people’s SHIT!). Stolen. Lost. Left. Given away.
Besides all the shit I have stored at my parents house, (which is mostly sentimental shit)
all I have fits into ONE large suitcase
a carryon and a backpack.
I travel yearly, with just that.
And, right now, as I look around my hotel room…I feel I’m already surrounded by too much “STUFF.”
After living year after year like this…you begin to realize how much “unnecessary” shit
you accumulate. The only time I have to bulk up on shit is in colder climates.
I typical prepare for all seasons cuz I never know where life may take me.
However, with this long stint here in Europe (during some of the winter months)
I have decided, the COLD is definitely NOT for me anymore.
I went down to Brazil for 5 weeks.
All I had was my carryon and backpack.
THIS is the way to live!
Sandals…shorts…bikinis…tops…and a few dresses and a pair of heels to go out.
NO thick ass jackets or jeans, etc.
ONE pair of jeans is like equal to 3 beach shorts!
(in regards to packing.)
I was researching for this “commune” idea of mine as I want to have a place
as DETACHED from the world as possible…
and where I can grow yummy fruits, nuts and veggies.
Thailand, the DR and South America came to mind.
These places have people that don’t have so much…
where luxuries aren’t the “common”
however, they’ve got the freshest fruits and produce.
To where America and other developed nations need it shipped in.
Who’s really got the luxuries?
Especially when these are the destinations those of “luxury”
go to escape their world?
Right. It’s 12:30PM. Shit, need to get or order something to eat.
I hope you are having a beautiful day.
I shared this with my friends the other day…cuz I was having such an amazing one.
I hope you like and it brings an extra ZEST to your day.
Has my head boppin’ side to side…especially starting on the 30th second of vid.
OK, and not to mention bangin bod, moves and jeans. LOVE the jeans.
Psssst. ((Call me)) HA HA
(Found out her name Ksyunya Alimpiyeva – Roman Alphabet – Kcюня Aлимпиевa – Russian)
I flow with my mind and my body.
If it says, drown yourself in copious amounts of substances, I do.
If it says, FEED me. I feed it when possible.
If it says, get out of bed and go run on a treadmill at 3 o’clock in the morning…
well, I’ll be running on a treadmill, again, when possible…at 3 o’clock in the morning.
If it says sleep, I sleep.
If it says I don’t want to, I don’t.
Unless I’m just being lazy, to where I’ll then push my non-desire away.
I flow with what comes naturally and everytime I’ve done that, I’ve been blessed.
I can’t explain my mind to you, but the closest people around me MIGHT be able to
give you SOME insight.
I do things crazy fast, and crazy efficient, but well. I take multitasking to HYPER speeds.
Unless, I’m stuck in a droned-out “depression.”
Which I take, as it is. Before I used to try and fight my way out…now I just allow the swings to come as they will.
I embrace them, and in turn, they embrace me back.
Tiz a sweet balance.
(I DON’T BELIEVE IN MEDS…to LOVE your mind – or anything – is to accept the good and the bad.)
I find my “down” stages are when I just need a break from the world.
Some “ME” time. Time to reflect, chill and be mindless.
Mindless, is good. Not mindless, without-direction activity…
but just “being” without outside forces combating your silence.
Think of it as the buddha-like meditation pose without being in the buddha meditation pose.
You don’t NEED to take your shoes off, pretzel-up your legs and make humming noises
to “ZEN OUT.”
Your mind needs to reset or else you fall into bad decisions because your “engine”
is being over worked and your thoughts become shady.
That’s if, some even THINK for a living.
Here’s my natural ebb and flow at the moment.
All my body’s craving is THIS.
Fruits, veggies, nuts, water…ONLY the good stuff.
I don’t wanna take in dairy, so I’mma finish off my last yogurts and then stop.
I was a vegan for 2 years back in the day.
I want to go back.
(It’s for health and for the animals)
I became one after picking up a pamphlet in NYC.
Was out with my vegan gf at the time at a vegetarian restaurant.
The pamphlet was: 101 Reasons to be a Vegetarian
(link at the bottom of blog incase you wish to read)
I had a flight out the next day, back to the Bahamas. 2.5 hour flight, nothing to read
EXCEPT my pamphlet!
Got off that flight, bought some proscuitto (last meal, one of my fav things) and stopped eating
I started again after watching a different gf GORGE herself in front of me.
She’s brazilian-dutch – and slender, one of those who can eat, not workout and never gain a pound – grew up in Portugal and London.
We met in boarding school and got together 10 years later.
(She was actually my first)
(She raped me of my “innocence.”)
So, when we went to the US, like most foreigners…
she “enjoyed” the food.
It started with Denny’s. Breakfast is one of my favorite meals.
And, one of my favorite things was the Denny’s Scram Slam.
My obsession started in Tampa when I was 17.
It’s not on the menu anymore, but they still make it on request.
It’s an omelet filled with all my favorite goodies.
I’d have it whenever I’d go to Denny’s, which wasn’t often. But I used to get that.
While we were in Florida, we’d go to Denny every morning
** we were there for 2 weeks or so **
(as it was right near where we were staying, plus…it’s DENNY’S! Mmmmmm.)
I’d sit and drink my coffee and just watch her.
Finally, I caved in and had a veggie omelet.
And like a drug, or sugar, or alcohol…it creates a reaction in your mouth, mind and tastebuds.
Eggs, are not flesh, but they are a form of something “living” in a way.
And from there…the flood gates opened. I became not only a meat eater…
but a meat LOVER.
But as with everything, once you ween off, your body doesn’t desire it anymore.
Like sugar, alcohol or smoking…
once your body gives it up, you naturally don’t desire it because of the way it reacts with your body.
When you start it again though…the memories flood back and you get pulled right back in.
I’ve been consuming more flesh than I should and too much alcohol lately.
(I tend to get lazy and fall off the bandwagon especially when I bounce around without pause.)
Which essentially = life’s outta control no time to breathe
Right now, I’ll take a break…as I said, I’ll STOP eating animals again…
once I’ve tried everything on this earth that’s currently being eaten.
China’s a big one to eat my way through.
But, like with my traveling…I just need to do my checkoffs.
Been there, done that…and move on.
Soon the majority of my travels will be done…
and then, I move on to the next sector of my life.
Whatever that may be…but…
I have a pretty good idea of what it is.
101 Reasons to be a Vegetarian:
A cool way to “zen” out. I have his on loop. My friend Diana shared this yesterday.
Sweet in visuals and sounds. Check it!
It helps structure my thought so it isn’t bouncing all over the place.
When I need to focus, that’s what I do. Find a song that “speaks” to me and play it on repeat.