Do you ever get so lost inside yourself and blanked out that you put earphones in and don’t even press play?
Eventually coming to and realizing you’ve just plugged your ears and blocked yourself away from the world
without even knowing it?
Sometimes for hours?
I believe I’ve come to that point, again, in my life where I’m trying to take inventory.
Inventory on where I’m at and the things that are most important to me…
and what things I should maybe let go of.
The largest and hardest question is:
How to let go of something you’ve lived for, fought for and believed in for more than
half of your adult life
TRUSTING that good/love will prevail over evil
but in the end, it seems the battle is slowly ending…with darkness being the victor?
I’m not one to lose at anything I get myself into…
so, maybe that’s why it’s so hard for me to accept?
It’s like a never-ending circled rollercoaster and my emotions are locked in for the ride.
No matter how far I run, how far I’ve come, how far I’ve gone…
I always end up at the same points, somewhere within the year.
What does that mean?
Maybe I have PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder)
and in need of some MAJOR therapy without even realizing it?
Cuz I know, I’m far from normal.
I just choose to do as I’ve always done.
Face it and fix it.
And if I have to, numb it til I gain the strength to fight again.
This has been my theme song since I heard it:
John O’Callaghan ft. Sarah Howells – Find Yourself (Vexare Remix)
I have a really awesome video in my head that forms when I listen to it.
Once I get my Sony NEX-7 I’mma get working on putting it together.
Countless people always remark, “Oh, I wish I were you.”
“I wish I had your life.”
“You’re so lucky.”
“I live vicariously through you.”
Well, the video I’m planning to put together, will hopefully bring you into how it truly
feels to be me in the moments you don’t see…
and let’s see what you have to say, after that.
Time to reset.
Time to shake it off…
and time to see if I can reach so high this next time around
that I’ll lose the gravity that keeps pulling me down.
One can hope, right?
Just some cute anime I came across.
This one instantly stood out to me.
This one too. Awwwweeeeee. How I feel about most of the people in my life.
I wanna just squeeze you all to bits cuz I love you so much.
I used to draw tons of anime.
It started after my trip to Japan back in errrr…1995? (I can’t remember. Between 1995-97. No Facebook, no
albums to help the memory!) and picking up, among a sea load of comics…
Dragon Ball Z.
I’ve never really plonked around with Adobe Illustrator, nor really taken the time to draw
something via computer (besides the flash animations I used to do)…so, maybe I’ll give that a look into.
Need a mind escape.
This just reminded me of a anime series I was introduced to by my cousin.
LOVED IT. I have the DVD box set somewhere.
Can’t remember the name though.
Music, storyline, EVERYTHING. Was intense. You’d never think you’d find yourself
rooting for cartoon characters and unable to leave the front of the television…for what was it?
FOUND IT! OMG OMG OMG!
If you could visualize the excitement in my insides, it’d be like shooting one of
those little bouncy balls out of a shotgun into a small, metal box.
Now to see if they have the episodes online.
52 episodes, 23 minutes each!!!!!!!
And I watched it within 2 days.
Me and my attention span are FAMOUS. It’s like a bunny on speed…so, you KNOW this must be good!
Now mind you, I watched this when I was 14, let’s see if it has the same effect.
Fushigi Yûgi (ふしぎ遊戯) or Mysterious Play.
Mute: Day 2.
Still Facebook-less and keeping to myself…for the most part.