Category Archives: Family

Happy Birthday to the BEST DADDY EVER!!!!!!!!!

There are mugs and merchandise that read: “#1 Dad.”
I really don’t know why.
Cuz, everyone’s dad, isn’t mine? So, why would they have the need to buy a lie for a gift?

Me? Biased, no!
Actually though, not fluffin’ shit up or anything, my dad is amazing.
He is an upstanding person. His reputation speaks for itself.
You don’t even have to know him, to know, he’s one of the greatest.
When my friend Rick (before I knew him) visited the Bahamas on business, people bombarded him
with praise about “Louis Chan.” He was so curious as to WHO this man is…
WHO is this person, who so many from all different walks of life hold in such high regard?

I am almost everything my dad, mainly in heart and principles…his deep devotion to the Catholic Church?
Not so much.

I fight to hold back tears as I write this entry.
(Major fail, by the way)
As I worked on the pics, even worse.
Where does the time go?
How’d it go from this…?

To the present?
32 years is a long fucking time, but where is it?
Within the recent years, I’ve been trying to make up for lost time, but it’s not the same.
I really wish I could get some time back, somehow, but I know I can’t and that kinda sucks.
I don’t feel like we’ve had enough TRUE time.
I don’t know how to explain that description…but, our “youths” were lost, apart. I guess you can say.
My parents were too occupied with their businesses and social obligations when I was younger…
then, I went off to boarding school and afterwards got lost in the world.
I have only recently come back and to the realization of, “FUCK. My dad’s in his 60s!”
Both him and my mom still look so young, so that’s the deception in it all.
Being asian, on TOP of hair dye.
(Shhhhhhh. Don’t tell ’em I told you.)

Seriously though…I always tell them, if they’d allow their hair to grey, I’d be
“gentler” on them.
Meaning, I would be able to see their age and most likely appreciate our time MORE.
Strange how appearances can effect our approach. No?

If my parents had grey hair, OMG. I’d freak because “reality” would reveal itself
and I’d be reminded of their fragility and depleting time.

This is one of my favorite pictures of my parents.
It makes me smile.

When I look at younger pics of me, I feel a sadness.
Sadness because I look at a picture of a girl, who grew up too fast?
Who’s childhood I can hardly remember.
A picture of someone who’s missing GAPS in her life.
It’s like I went from 13 to 32. Where’d I go?
(I wish I wrote this LAST year, then it’d be 13 to 31. Symmetrical and following my
“13” theme this year)
I also see the sadness in what my parents must see/feel.
I know I’m not what they saw in me…
or thought me to become
and I feel bad for them.

It’s like I killed their hopes and dreams of whatever they wanted me to be
by being me.

I am such an accomplishment in so many eyes, but in my parents’…especially my mother’s
I feel like a disastrous mistake and disappointment.

Maybe that’s why I don’t take praise well, or accept it at all
because there are only 2 people in existence who’s opinions I care about.
I gotta be ME though, ya know?
And I know “ME” ain’t so bad, so I’m not changing just because they were “programmed” in their
own views of what’s “GOOD” and worthy of praise.

Acceptance doesn’t take away the sadness/emptiness though.

Our humor’s pretty much spot on too.
I got lost in the world, then absorbed in the fast life, afterwards I got sucked into “love”
other times arrested by drugs, then there’s my “save the world” obsessions…
when the world I should be concentrating on, has a population of 3.
My parents and I.

It’s weird though, life. It’s like a race against time to fit everything in, yet
have the time to treasure the most important in it.
And sometimes we get so focused, or lost, that we don’t see the gifts
we are presented…that were always there to reach for.

The Chan’s, including extended family, have always been about “hard work”
and “education.” I’ve always been about happiness, smiles, love and play.

Nothing much has changed today. I feel, life’s too depressing as is, might as well
sprinkle as many sparkly moments as possible.
I make “fun” money, not “slave” money. For the most part, I always look for fun ways or
enrichingly challenging ways to make money.

With the projects I get into…
CASH is usually ALWAYS the smallest reward I get out of it.

I’m not motivated by cash, I’m motivated by experiences and results.

Yesterday, I was planning on heading down to Kenya and then South Africa for June/July
after I finish up with Europe…however, I think it’s time to go home again.
If the world vanished and all I was left with, was my mom and dad, I’d be fine.
If my parents vanished and I was left with the world…

I’d be destroyed.
So home I go. All my tickets and hotels have already been booked from Estonia down to Turkey
and back here to Amsterdam…
if it wasn’t for that, I’d already be home, celebrating with my dad.

Travel has been both a blessing and curse.
It’s shown me “reality” instead of fabrications and has kept my mind and heart
open to all.

But, has taken away a lot of time from those I love the most.
I have so many around the world in my heart but in the end, my parents are my top…
and I need to keep reminding myself of it, as I get sidetracked into “the rest.”

See you SOON!

Pics below, thanks to David Mackey.
Facebook has been awesome in that it helps me keep tabs and see what my parents are up to.
I love seeing pics of them both. MOST are just of my mom out partying…
But, the ones where my parents are together and enjoying life…
I love the most.
(Just FYI friends, snap away for me please!!!)

When I look at this picture, all I want to do is JUMP in it and give my daddy a great big, strong hug.

This pic, also David Mackey’s caught my attention.
Look how the guy’s stare just beelines the crotch.

Right, ta ta for now.
Enjoy your Tuesday…………

David Mackey’s website:


Posted by on April 17, 2012 in Death, Family, Life, Love, Motorcycles, Photography, Pictures, Travel


Infinitesimal Manhoods and the Men they Belong to.

infinitesimal (adj)– Immeasurably or incalculably minute

I learnt this word when I was 14.
I wanted the PERFECT word to describe my uncle’s DICK
cuz of the one he was.
Only someone with a magnificently SMALL member could be such an egotistical, controlling
and verbally abusive, asshole.

I spent one year with my aunt, uncle and cousin.
When summer came and I managed to “escape” my aunt found the diary I kept
which included plans of killing my uncle.
(along with NOT the greatest of things about most of the household)
** Deserved, trust me. I’m not a bitch. They’re just mentally “OFF” **

With an imaginary gun I never placed thought on “HOW to get.”
I just knew I wanted to shoot him.
(Can you tell I don’t do well with folk giving me undeserved “meanness?”)
I’m the sweetest person you’ll ever come across, just don’t fuck with me
I imagined myself on the corner of the street before the house, in the bush, shooting him as he
drove by and then running back to the house and jumping back into bed.

It was nothing but a thought.
Never went further than that…but it made me smile
and that, at the time, was good enough.


((Wow, going back to the picture…as this was SO not even on my mind when I started this entry…
WHY paint something SOOOOOO small? Was it so it wouldn’t be so, tasteless? Pornographic? What?
Better just to put a leaf or cloth on the sucker. Jeez.))

Don’t you think?


Posted by on March 30, 2012 in Art, Family, Pictures


Prostitution, Religion and YOU – Combat your ignorance, evolve & BETTER the world around you.

Unlike what people LOVE to spit out…
prostitution is NOT the oldest profession.

I find it highly ignorant and sheepish to hear this response during discussions of sexual slavery
and forced prostitution.
Like, because it existed A LONG time ago, it should be somewhat accepted?

And also, if these individuals would actually use their BRAINS for once in their simple lives
they’d figure out, that you can’t have a supply without a demand.
Were they whoring themselves out for free?

No, obviously someone ELSE started working and earning some form of payment for this
so-called OLDEST profession.

It is not thee, but yes, it is ONE.
(Sumerian records in 2400 B.C.)

600s B.C. (7th Century B.C.) Legal brothels were set up in China by the stateman-philosopher Kuang Chung as a means for increasing the state’s income.
(Not much different than today’s reason. Glad to see, how far we’ve evolved in our management of commodities,
oh, I mean humans – mainly women)

 Late 500s
“A decree of Recared, Catholic king of the Visigoths of Spain (596-601) absolutely prohibited prostitution. Girls and women born of free parents convicted of either practising prostitution, or inducing debauchery, were condemned for the first offence to be flogged (300 strokes) and to be ignominously expelled from the town.”

A woman enters into prostitution (talking about her own free will) usually out of desperation, or as a means to get through the moment and out of certain situations to hopefully gain a better life for her and (usually present)
her children.

I don’t believe in punishing the prostitutes.
It’s like lashing punishment on someone who’s already damned.
History and present day ALWAYS punish the women while the men, equally associated, most times walk off with
a slap on the wrist.

Why expect anything more from a world where men are constantly on the role of suppressing women?
The majority of men, whether they wish to admit it or not…
want their women as rag dolls. POSSESSIONS. Items “belonging” to them
who they can order around, who can SERVE them and who are accessible whenever their whims
desire, to please them.

It’s the average. The majority. The typical space within humans, men and women, where you find “evil.”
“Ignorance” and “mindless sheeple.”

A great way to analyze, what’s wrong, is to see how many people are behind it.
The greatest acts of humanity, of selflessness, don’t crowd.

REAL issues are always masked and hardly ever placed on “HIGH alert” and importance.
However, things that “sound” good, that have “sparkle” or is “preached” by a celebrity
are all jumped on without personal research.

How does one fully invest themselves into something without picking it apart from its beginning to end first?

Back to prostitution, if the world would stop fucking fighting and squash their ego trips, races for power
and insatiable GREED we wouldn’t have hunger or desperation because we’d work together as
a whole for the greater good. But, yeah. I know. FAT FUCKING CHANCE.
Which is sad, don’t you think?

If we looked out for one another, people wouldn’t have to turn to desperate measures to “survive.”

I agree with this:

2002-MAY: Nigeria: A man, Sarimu Mohammed, 50, was sentenced to be stoned to death by a court in Jigawa for raping a nine-year-old girl.

I don’t agree with these:

1996-MAR: Afghanistan: Some strict interpretations of Islamic law calls for the death penalty for any woman found in the company of a man other than a close family member. Sexual activity is assumed to have happened. A woman, Jamila, was found guilty of trying to leave the country with such a man. She was caught and stoned to death on 1996-MAR-28

1996-NOV: Afghanistan: Under the previous, Taliban, regime, a woman, Nurbibi, 40, and a man Turylai, 38, were stoned to death in a public assembly using palm-sized stones. They were found guilty of non-marital sex.

However, I DO respect their adherence to their scriptures.
As with most religions, hypocrites are rampant. However, if one enforces the laws of their religion
and also LIVES by their religion 100%.
They have my respect, no matter how disturbing because they are living and acting upon their beliefs.

I’m a FULL supporter of all the way or no way.
You can’t put yourself in 30%-50%-99%
and LASH out your HATE against things you PICK apart in the Bible, etc
and run with while YOU yourself are the worst of sinners, etc.

This is for my Christian Nation Bahamian Haters and others who show such repugnance and venom
towards gays who are usually the most LOVING people you’ll ever meet
because similar to those also oppressed and feeling the sour pangs of

they usually possess open hearts and open minds.

A GREAT person accepts all humans as one, no one above or below, with their own individualities
that aren’t boxed in merely by skin color, sexual orientation or gender.

Really, HOW IGNORANT ARE YOU?!!?!?!?

Exodus 20:14 “You shall not commit adultery.”

Deuteronomy 22:22 “If a man is found sleeping with another man’s wife, both the man who slept with her and the woman must die.

Leviticus 20:10 “If a man commits adultery with another man’s wife–with the wife of his neighbor–both the adulterer and the adulteress must be put to death.

So, according to this BIBLE you so like to PULL out and use in your FIGHT WITH the God your wish to “honor”
what say you now? How many of my Bahamian “brethren” with yer “proud” culture of “sweetheartin”
need to be lined up and PUT to DEATH?

How many of you Christian mothers wish to follow the scriptures along with the government and watch your
child be killed because they can’t control their hormones and sexual desires?

STOP hating.
STOP judging.
STOP placing yourself on this HIGH horse of playing “God” through a damn BOOK!

The world and its ills is so simple yet you choose to complicate it with your beliefs and religions.

In other news: Like, OMG! I just discovered the “Kitchen Sink” button on WordPress!!!!
I’ve had a go back option and document editing capabilities!?!?!? ALL THIS TIME?!?!?!!? AAAACK!

Anyone else wish to share what other amazing things I may be missing in my blogging experience?

Thanks for your time.

Love Cara.

This entry took about 2 hours. Some, take longer than that. I still have the one I spoke about a few
entries before. But, it’s a BIGGY…I was actually in the middle of doing it
when my mind spun off to this.

Maybe I’ll never get it done and have it spun off in sections instead. Only time will tell.
Whatever flows, is what will be delivered.

Here’s the song I’ve been listening to on loop.
((I need to put a constant in my head so my mind stays as focused as it’s gonna get.))




Breakfast of Champs – Let’s just call this, the things we put in our mouth album. :)

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Posted by on March 28, 2012 in Art, Family, Humor, Photography, Pictures


Valentine’s Grub, Monkeys and Airplanes

Our crew always got the best assets.
Next time, we’ll pick a warmer time of year so we can get the G-strings out.

Stellina’s in Watertown, MA.
((thumbs down))

However, can’t f-up arugala and parmesan.
Thank God!

Poor guys missing something.

Can’t f-up alcohol either.
Can we get a praise Jesus?

That plate almost stayed exactly the same as it came.
I just basically ate the mushrooms and spinach, with a buncha tobasco to help the flavor.

Promised someone I’d take this pic once the wife picked me up.

Pulled off the road to snap a pic for my Boston peeps.

Then saw this for my VW Beetle fanatic Patti!
2 within 48 hours!

Nuthin’ but the best for my wife on V Day.


A restaurant after my own heart.

Salt & Vinegar wings, TO DIE FOR!!!!
(I like the nakedness of it…no sauciness)
Indy liked the Spicy Garlic.

As for the Ultimate Nachos…
if you like your chili tasting like Ragu Spaghetti sauce, order away.
(thumbs down for me)

Wakin’ up to the monkeys.
I’ve been neglecting TB.
(My Travel Buddy – the little blue one)
Was supposed to get a picture with him and my Swedes…but forgot.
Too much partying and hangovers.

Didn’t even take him out for Valentine’s.
I’m so bad.

And look! 500 Swedish Kronor.
Bank of Cara new service…Money Exchange.
Guess this means I need to go to Sweden!

One of the red blooded monkeys posing with the stuffed fam.

Second flight with an entire row all to myself.
Sucks I didn’t bring anyone with me.
Could’ve racked up some more Mile High Miles.

OK Orlando. Ciao for now, time for MIAMI!!!!


Awwwweeeeee. My kids are the BEST!!!!

The trailer load of them!!!
(Things that just melt your heart)
I have no need to have children, all my friends around the world, have enough.
And I love em all like my own.
I’m just “seasonal” and absent for most of the year.
ha ha

Or years.

I just got this message from one of the sweetest women I know…

“Hi Beautiful….
I had to send a message right away. Zoe has share tomorrow at school and she is bringing the dollar you gave her. She has to write sentences to talk about what she brings and you have no idea how nice it was to hear what she wrote.
She mentions that you are her friend with a same birthday and that she loves you and misses you. She also wrote that even if she just saw you that time you are in her heart and hopes to see you soon. She also said that she will always cherish the dollar and that it is for good luck because a good friend from the Bahamas (like the dollar) gave it to her”

She and her family are AMAZING people.
Her kids are the cutest.
Very thoughtful, respectful and sweet.

Here’s a pic of the lot.

I met them during my stay in Boulder, CO last year.
I don’t usually do the “inner” parts of the US…but, gotta find my way back to Colorado sometime this year
to spend some time with them.
(I do Texas as an inner state too, cuz a few of my very best friends live there.)


I swear, my list just gets longer and longer.

365 days in a year?

I need more!

Here are some pics I randomly came across for my google of “melt your heart”

Right. Hope you liked.


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Posted by on February 2, 2012 in Family, Happiness, Natural Highs


Day 2: The Gods are NOT Communicating

So, I spoke to the Cyber Gods yesterday.
I think they got in touch with the Sun God…

Cuz it’s out.


However, I forgot to have them contact the Sky Gods
cuz it’s cloudy.


My ex wrote me yesterday.
Talk about out of the blue.
Wonder if she saw my “Can’t stand you” blog.

Or, maybe the Cyber Gods contacted her Mental Gods which had her contact me.

So, Facebook’s IPO’s gonna be unleashed.
Taking its worth from $75 billion to $100 billion.

Between 2009 and 2011, Facebook’s revenues grew at a 127% annual rate to $3.8 Billion in 2011 with operating profit of $1.5 Billion.
I think it’s still grossly overvalued…
but that’s just me.

My cousin just got engaged.
I told him to stop doing adult things, cuz it’s making me feel old.

(He’s younger)

Wanna see a pic of us when we were babies?


I know, I know. Fuckin’ cute.

And Andrew throwing up gang signs.
I miss my cousins.

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Posted by on January 31, 2012 in Economics, Environment, Family, Pictures