However, maybe that’s a GOOD thing?
Category Archives: Faith
I live in a world of distorted perceptions.
Where good intentions are met with attacks
and masked wickedness is met with adulation.
I sit outside of my bubble and watch the world in silence.
and what I see, creates tears in my heart.
Tears may be interpreted in whichever definition comes to you, because it’s all the same.
I travel the world, inside my head and my tunes, a lot.
When I walk through crowds and city streets I always feel like I’m a ghost in a realm
not of my own.
A spirit floating through an altered dimension seeing those around me
with them, unable to see me.
I’m the air.
I have collected some of the best souvenirs along my travels.
Those who have become everlasting friends and permanent fixtures in my happiest of thoughts.
Yesterday, there was a moment where I was jazzed. Pumped. Feeling really good about my present…
The thought: “My life f-in rocks!”
Rushed through my veins.
Then, as all the confetti falls to the floor…
I’m alone again.
Feeling detached from the world and the wavelengths of most around me.
“I’m a fucking monster when all I wanted was something beautiful.”
That’s a line from Meg Myers song, “Monster.”
She’s referring to a relationship but that line’s perfect to describe the way I feel sometimes
because it starts with anger and hurt then ends of with softness and beauty.
And that’s my ying and yang.
My frustration and disgust towards a world that really doesn’t give a shit…
and my heart that wishes, you could open your eyes and begin to see.
Take the time to step towards something greater.
You can never please 100% of the world, but why even bother, when most of the world
doesn’t even give a shit about anything beyond their bubble?
No matter how much I shake it off and push forward…
the darts of the enemies still manage to prick my armor.
If what doesn’t kill you, truly makes you stronger
my God, please SAVE the person that DARE step in my path
when my time has come to really, fuck shit up.
Unlike what people LOVE to spit out…
prostitution is NOT the oldest profession.
I find it highly ignorant and sheepish to hear this response during discussions of sexual slavery
and forced prostitution.
Like, because it existed A LONG time ago, it should be somewhat accepted?
And also, if these individuals would actually use their BRAINS for once in their simple lives
they’d figure out, that you can’t have a supply without a demand.
Were they whoring themselves out for free?
No, obviously someone ELSE started working and earning some form of payment for this
so-called OLDEST profession.
It is not thee, but yes, it is ONE.
(Sumerian records in 2400 B.C.)
600s B.C. (7th Century B.C.) Legal brothels were set up in China by the stateman-philosopher Kuang Chung as a means for increasing the state’s income.
(Not much different than today’s reason. Glad to see, how far we’ve evolved in our management of commodities,
oh, I mean humans – mainly women)
“A decree of Recared, Catholic king of the Visigoths of Spain (596-601) absolutely prohibited prostitution. Girls and women born of free parents convicted of either practising prostitution, or inducing debauchery, were condemned for the first offence to be flogged (300 strokes) and to be ignominously expelled from the town.”
A woman enters into prostitution (talking about her own free will) usually out of desperation, or as a means to get through the moment and out of certain situations to hopefully gain a better life for her and (usually present)
I don’t believe in punishing the prostitutes.
It’s like lashing punishment on someone who’s already damned.
History and present day ALWAYS punish the women while the men, equally associated, most times walk off with
a slap on the wrist.
Why expect anything more from a world where men are constantly on the role of suppressing women?
The majority of men, whether they wish to admit it or not…
want their women as rag dolls. POSSESSIONS. Items “belonging” to them
who they can order around, who can SERVE them and who are accessible whenever their whims
desire, to please them.
It’s the average. The majority. The typical space within humans, men and women, where you find “evil.”
“Ignorance” and “mindless sheeple.”
A great way to analyze, what’s wrong, is to see how many people are behind it.
The greatest acts of humanity, of selflessness, don’t crowd.
REAL issues are always masked and hardly ever placed on “HIGH alert” and importance.
However, things that “sound” good, that have “sparkle” or is “preached” by a celebrity
are all jumped on without personal research.
How does one fully invest themselves into something without picking it apart from its beginning to end first?
Back to prostitution, if the world would stop fucking fighting and squash their ego trips, races for power
and insatiable GREED we wouldn’t have hunger or desperation because we’d work together as
a whole for the greater good. But, yeah. I know. FAT FUCKING CHANCE.
Which is sad, don’t you think?
If we looked out for one another, people wouldn’t have to turn to desperate measures to “survive.”
I agree with this:
2002-MAY: Nigeria: A man, Sarimu Mohammed, 50, was sentenced to be stoned to death by a court in Jigawa for raping a nine-year-old girl.
I don’t agree with these:
1996-MAR: Afghanistan: Some strict interpretations of Islamic law calls for the death penalty for any woman found in the company of a man other than a close family member. Sexual activity is assumed to have happened. A woman, Jamila, was found guilty of trying to leave the country with such a man. She was caught and stoned to death on 1996-MAR-28
1996-NOV: Afghanistan: Under the previous, Taliban, regime, a woman, Nurbibi, 40, and a man Turylai, 38, were stoned to death in a public assembly using palm-sized stones. They were found guilty of non-marital sex.
However, I DO respect their adherence to their scriptures.
As with most religions, hypocrites are rampant. However, if one enforces the laws of their religion
and also LIVES by their religion 100%.
They have my respect, no matter how disturbing because they are living and acting upon their beliefs.
I’m a FULL supporter of all the way or no way.
You can’t put yourself in 30%-50%-99%
and LASH out your HATE against things you PICK apart in the Bible, etc
and run with while YOU yourself are the worst of sinners, etc.
This is for my Christian Nation Bahamian Haters and others who show such repugnance and venom
towards gays who are usually the most LOVING people you’ll ever meet
because similar to those also oppressed and feeling the sour pangs of
they usually possess open hearts and open minds.
A GREAT person accepts all humans as one, no one above or below, with their own individualities
that aren’t boxed in merely by skin color, sexual orientation or gender.
Really, HOW IGNORANT ARE YOU?!!?!?!?
Exodus 20:14 “You shall not commit adultery.”
Deuteronomy 22:22 “If a man is found sleeping with another man’s wife, both the man who slept with her and the woman must die.“
Leviticus 20:10 “If a man commits adultery with another man’s wife–with the wife of his neighbor–both the adulterer and the adulteress must be put to death.“
So, according to this BIBLE you so like to PULL out and use in your FIGHT WITH the God your wish to “honor”
what say you now? How many of my Bahamian “brethren” with yer “proud” culture of “sweetheartin”
need to be lined up and PUT to DEATH?
How many of you Christian mothers wish to follow the scriptures along with the government and watch your
child be killed because they can’t control their hormones and sexual desires?
STOP placing yourself on this HIGH horse of playing “God” through a damn BOOK!
The world and its ills is so simple yet you choose to complicate it with your beliefs and religions.
In other news: Like, OMG! I just discovered the “Kitchen Sink” button on WordPress!!!!
I’ve had a go back option and document editing capabilities!?!?!? ALL THIS TIME?!?!?!!? AAAACK!
Anyone else wish to share what other amazing things I may be missing in my blogging experience?
Thanks for your time.
This entry took about 2 hours. Some, take longer than that. I still have the one I spoke about a few
entries before. But, it’s a BIGGY…I was actually in the middle of doing it
when my mind spun off to this.
Maybe I’ll never get it done and have it spun off in sections instead. Only time will tell.
Whatever flows, is what will be delivered.
Here’s the song I’ve been listening to on loop.
((I need to put a constant in my head so my mind stays as focused as it’s gonna get.))
I chuckle every time someone posts this on Facebook. I got mad respect for Bob Marley. I even dated one of his sons who’s still a very good friend of mine. I feel a lot of people take to a quote sometimes because it’s by a person they admire, someone famous or they read the words and are impacted by them but don’t absorb what the words actually mean.
I don’t feel that everyone in life is going to hurt you. They may disappoint you or surprise you but we are in control of how we let others affect us, emotionally and as for the suffering, SHIT…no one in my life is worth keeping around to SUFFER FOR!
Let alone be WORTH suffering for! How ridiculous is that? I know what he’s trying to say but that just helps the brainwashing we humans have on love and life.
Invest in who you are, find your strengths, embrace your passions, create the person in yourself who you will love, respect and admire and you will build a shield so impenetrable ain’t nuthing’ gonna bring you down.
Before putting my trust into anything, I dissect it. I aim to understand it’s basis from the bottom up, and cover every wall and inch. If something is said or written, before I put my faith into it, I need to see if the meaning fits my truths. Don’t just fall into the herds like sheep, you have a brain…use it.
I love all languages. If I had the time to learn them all, I would. However, English is still my favorite. It is the only language with enough words (ignoring ‘agglutinative’ languages such as Finnish) to pinpoint exact descriptions of things I wish to put forth into words. It’s fabulous!
Anyways, enough blabber…
Now GO! Face the world and leave the suffering behind!
Reports have surfaced that at least 10 teenage boys were castrated in the 1950’s for being homosexual.
Gotta love them Roman Catholics, huh?
Now, what I don’t get is this…
WHY, when a “normal” guy plays a little hide the weener with a child…
he goes to jail.
When a Catholic priest plays hide the weener and adds a little blow (job) with his Hail Marys
he has the “great powers that be” blanketing him from prosecution and is
shifted around to other parts of the map to resume his practices.
I know you can’t bring the WHOLE down for the naughty few…
however, the WHOLE protects these people…so what does that say about them???
Nice religion you got there.
Does this not send RED flags off to ANYONE else?!!??!!
Then, there’s cases like Catherine Kieu Becker who chopped her husband’s
dick off and MAY now face LIFE in prison!
Trust me, if a previously sane woman chops a man’s dick off…
there was a VERY good reason for it!
I read someone joking about giving her a year for every inch.
I’d settle for that one.
Good luck girl!!!!!
Hey, maybe see if you can opt to spend the rest of your days as a Catholic nun.
They seem to have an adequate amount of “get outta jail free” cards available.
Maybe if there existed harsher punishments for abuse and rape…
men would think twice about being useless assholes.
So, what exactly are the limits of YOUR priest to parish relationship?
If ya want a little more “heat” take it down to MIAMI
(like we ALL didn’t know THAT!!!)
where Catholic life, all the way up to the master (priest) pastor himself…
gets a little “jiggy with it.”
OK my child. That will be 3 Hail Marys, a Glory Be and a blow job.
“Meet me in the confessional in 5.”
So, how’s YOUR priest lookin???
Do YOU have enough Pussy Power to bring your priest down to HIS knees?
Do I hear challenge?!?!!?
As I googled Ruhama which is the now wife of Father Cutie…
this is the TOP result I got.
It’s actually prostitution AND trafficking.
Yet another of the many serendipitous moments in my life.
Right. Gonna check ’em out now.
I arrived in Holland on the 27th of February.
From the moment I stepped onto the flight from Newark to Amsterdam…
my life began to transform.
Days before my trip, I commanded myself
to return, full force and completely dive into life…
instead of locking myself away from it.
This blog has proven itself to be both a curse and a blessing.
It helped absorb my entire being so far into certain aspects of my life
that I’ve resurfaced
Unstoppable, on top of the galaxies, blanketed by an endless peace and clarity to
where, I’m as the song – playing through my skull right now – states:
Safe from any attack that comes my way.
Mentally, at least.
Fire away, fire away!
When you claw your way down to the deepest, loneliest foundations of
everything you are, everything that you’ve been and everything that’s injured and
darkened you along the way…
you experience a certain freedom
if you make it out the other end…
towards, “the light.”
Since 2003, I’ve had an existence, an incomplete piece of me, shadowing my every step.
This blog started out as a dedication to that piece.
2003 was also the year I took my life…
but the world wasn’t ready for me to leave.
In the medical field, I’m considered a “miracle.”
I’m more alive today, than I’ve been, possibly ever.
It’s cuz I let go. I’ve finally let go of the item of my obsession.
The “circle” I felt was meant to be and worth fighting for…living for…
2013 would be a decade!
This wouldn’t be the first time I’ve let go, but this is my most complete detachment.
Everytime I opened up my hands and released the future I believed was meant to be
and the future I believed I could create just because it was pure
just because I had the drive
just because I felt, we’ve come so far, fought so hard
loved beyond sight and gone through SO much
just because I felt evil is NOT supposed to prevail…
the world showed me, it’ll be ok, and rains the sweetest droplets of strength, happiness and unimaginable opportunities
upon the once dry, cracked, weakened roads in which I walked
and hinted to me, each time..
to just let go.
Let go, and “I” shall provide.
The more we try to control our lives, the more the world seems to want to get in the way.
So that’s why, I now flow.
I’ve gained the wisdom, that I can do my best and give it my all…
but if it’s not meant to be, it won’t.
Killing yourself fighting an uphill battle, in the rain, through slippery mud
while tree trunks, stones, cars and countless other debris roll down your path
leaving you in the same spot, no matter how hard you muscle your way towards the top
is a sign.
Because you aren’t progressing.
Life is passing you by as you are deadlocked on this one focal point.
Close your eyes, shake your head
and open your eyes again…
to the bigger picture.
Relax your sight…
and just accept the moment
I haven’t written like this is a while, because I was allowing myself a break
from the things that concern me the most in the world around me.
The “evils” in which I want to extinguish.
The strings I thought I could eventually strengthen and reel in.
The pieces to my whole, for almost 10 years, I felt
were my destiny.
A part of me, yet no longer towing me away from my present.
As I said, right now, I’m STACKED with chaos.
With the lives of others on my shoulders.
To the most extreme levels I’ve ever experienced.
I’m MORE than ok.
I should be having a mental breakdown…
but surprisingly, worries came and gone and I’m light as a feather…
floating almost as if I had NOT a care in the world.
Maybe someone slipped me some Prozac?
I had an entirely different entry to write about today
was thinking about merging it with this one…
but there are too many pictures
and I’m done.
I don’t force my writings.
I kinda used to, because I wanted to stick to the 365 days…
but now, I let it flow
From my mind to my fingers…to you.
Today, went from amazing to disastrous to UNBELIEVABLY incredible.
So, I will eventually share.
But I want it shared properly. So, I’ll most likely post tomorrow…
and I’d appreciate if you’d check in, cuz it’s kinda special to me.
One hint about tomorrow’s entry is it has to do with my new number:
Sit tight, K?
And, HAPPY HUMP DAY!
If you didn’t catch it when I first posted the song, here’s the vid.
Pretty awesome cuz it’s the actual video.
When I posted it, they didn’t release one as yet. So, enjoy.