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Transforming Transitions of Transient Travels Thru Solitary Sediments of Existence Eventually Emerging Blissfully Content, Free and Smiling. BE JEALOUS.

18 Apr

I think I just hit a record for title length!
🙂

I just closed my eyes, typed, and deleted…
which gave me two “déjà vu” moments.

Freaky.

I’m listening to Jewel’s “Foolish Games” right now.
I’ve included the video below. I forgot about her wonky tooth.
I love it. I hope she never decides to “fix” it to conform to the “norm’s” view
of perfection.
I find it perfectly, precious.

When I was younger, it was one of the songs I used to zone out to on the piano;
from early morning 4am-ish to sunrise.
The first set of notes slides me into the music and out of “existence.”
LOVE IT.

Calming.
Sweet.
Melodically mind-numbing, but welcomingly so.
I stopped what I was doing just now so I could ride fully with the notes as the song began again.
Man. I can’t help but smile.
“Take me” my mind says and off I go.

I have a slight headache from a little too much wine and port last night
however, with this song piping through my earphones…
my braincells are doing a graceful dance number inside of my skull
with moments of opened-armed, running towards the front of the “stage” glee
releasing me of the punishing tension and agony from the
“offensive” and demonic reactions of evil grape distillates.

I think I’ve realized WHY I love plugging in (earphones).
It’s me, blocking out the world.
Blocking out the noise of influence.
Of outside voices which wish to seep into my head and take it over.

Blocking out the world, gives me my mind back.
Gives me my peace to settle my thoughts, monitor my movements and THINK.

THINK, for myself.
Not as the “world” wishes to program it.

The world most of us live in today, is too consumed.
Consumed by useless distractions, routines and “responsibilities.”
Fruitless desires to achieve!
To CLIMB!
To control.
To gain POWER
PRESTIGE
and to then, what?
What is it that you gain, when at the end of the day…

you’re always dreaming of your “vacations?”

What about, just being?
Or living?

 When did we go from necessity being life
to life’s obsession with luxury?

Throughout my 32 years on this planet, I’ve taken breaks from the world.
I used to think they were deep depressions…which in a way, they were…
because I was just not happy with the world around me so I left it

to be on my own.
To think, to create, to “protect” myself from what it’s become?
I have managed to position myself with a lifestyle that allows me to
escape the world, when I wish.

I mold my life into what I wish it to be.
And, if I can’t in that EXACT moment, I’ll find a way to get myself there.
I don’t follow “what should bes”
I follow, “what Cara bes.”

So many people think they’ve got the “Path to Success”
all mapped out.
(And aren’t SHY about SHOVING that JOYFUL “know it all” knowledge down your throat.)
I really don’t think there is such a path, well, not society’s definition of it.
(Which starts as a failure in itself just as is.)
Life’s too unpredictable for that…so I just do as I do, and embrace whatever comes of it.

 A prime example. I had a friend who was JUST about to graduate from University as
a brain surgeon…however, before her big day, she discovered she had brain cancer
and died shortly after her diagnosis.

I’ve seen the way my aunt used to study and pin her nose into a book while I was growing up.
I’d hate to have put all that effort and sacrifice into something, just to get jipped at the end.
However, if it’s something you enjoy and are passionate about, that’s different.

STUDY, STUDY, STUDY…WORK, WORK, WORK.
DIE.
Wow. How appealing???

For the most part, I’ve always done, anything I’ve wanted to
and am grateful I wasn’t born into a shackled life.
I’m not sure there’s much I’ve wanted to do and haven’t done.
**thinking**

There’s #1 place in a superbike race, but I’ve given myself until 35.
Need to get my ass back on the tracks soon. Time’s running out.
😉

Stay tuned, it’ll happen.
I give myself between 1st-3rd place. Podium-level.
Ain’t about to make things TOO stressful for myself!
(Especially since I’m not “supporting” lost causes anymore)
😛

THIS TIME, for real, I’m putting myself FIRST.
(Excluding my parents)
No more charity cases. Indy, you better help me stay strong on this one.
I’m counting on you baby!!!
My life’s filled with helping others get to where they want to be, while placing my dreams
on the back burner. I’m hoping I can finally put a stop to that silly little habit.

I won’t mind going back to it, but I’d finally like to make this one dream a reality as it’s
been one of the only unfulfilled constants in my life.
2012 baby. The Year of MY Dragon…as I like to say.

In closing, if yer stressing, if you feel my life an inspiration and don’t think
YOU can be where I am…

 Sit down, without distractions and think about the things that control you…
that you are enslaved to
and start to break free from them.

In one, broken down, “do-you-speak-English” word: SIMMM…PLIIIII…FY!!!!!!!!
😀

These past few weeks I’ve taken a step back, shook the glitter off my distractions
and have returned, refreshed, focused and lighter
and ready to create new footsteps into a revised unknown.
Yay.
Excited.

Spring cleaning baby!

(Apparently, a part of this new “transformation” and “awakening” of mine, I have now
begun to speak via pictures.)

Carafuscious say………………

Have a BEAUTIFUL humpday ALL!!!!!!!!
XOXOXOX

 

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