I let it sink in.
“I know you are doing this for me.”
I think if I had a child and they acknowledged this sacrifice…
of me, being with someone for their benefit, it’d rip me up inside.
How do you think the child feels?
Especially when they are “of age” to understand?
If I were that child, I’d resent everything I had.
I wouldn’t enjoy the big house, the fancy room, the luxuries, etc
because I’d know, the price was your soul.
I’d rather struggle through life with you by my side
than take the “easier” path.
Because then, it’d be you and my world wouldn’t feel “whored” out.
I’d just lose you for the times you were working and not FULL time.
Within a complete, loving relationship there’s an “US” feeling.
A “WE” feeling.
When you are with someone for other reasons than love, and your child knows it,
I’d think it’d feel more like a rented prison.
A place that’s not a “HOME.”
As a mom, if you yourself choose the “easy” path, that’s different.
But to place yourself in “misery” solely for the benefit (or so you think at the time)
of your child…
Are you doing more harm, mentally, than good with the superficial?
I’m not saying which path is right or wrong, I just know I’d rather struggle than lose my soul.
(And sometimes, I’m pretty sure, kids think the same way)
We all want our mommas to be happy
And to be reminded, everyday, that a part of you is lost to complete a part of theirs…?
Sucks that we live in a world where these types of life decisions are even a necessity.