After being “not-so-patient” with my mother
I tried to understand
Why do certain things irritate me to where I’m weak at controlling my responses?
I’m trying to be more loving, patient and kind to my mother.
It DOESN’T come naturally.
Well, in some ways, yes – cuz I’m a loving person – but there’s something
hidden under the subconscious that has me snapping.
And I’ve just figured out what it is!
She hurt me.
When I was younger, I allowed her hurtful words to get at me
and that part of me still exists
and tries to fight my desires to be the “good” while mending our relationship.
She’s gotten “better?” over the years.
Maybe age has softened up her sharp, heartless and villainous tongue.
I also started thinking about others I have a short patience with
who’s mere existence sometimes sparks a crawling irritation in me
it’s the same.
They’ve hurt me/mistreated me at some point in my life.
I know what I’m worth and I know I give my best.
I don’t deserve to be “bitten”
Unless upon request.
(Hey, I’m rhyming. I should start a poem.)
Once you damage 100%, it’ll never be, 100%
Those that know they’ve done wrong, know it and will forever kick their asses
cuz I’m naturally never the same.
I’ll never be the 100% they once had.
One can forgive and forget, but a taint still lingers whether we want it to or not.
So, choose your words and actions wisely
cuz you may forever change a beautiful thing.
Imperfection in a bond is created
when you don’t appreciate and act accordingly when presented with the perfection of love.
Ya feel me?